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Confessions of a Jesus Freak

Brian K. Noe · December 18, 2023 ·

1970s One Way PinI grew up in an Evangelical Christian home. My family attended Northwest Christian Church in Decatur, Illinois, and some of my earliest memories are of riding in the backseat of my parents’ car on the way to Sunday Morning services, singing “church songs.”

Northwest was part of a decentralized “non-denominational” denomination that arose from something called the Restoration Movement in the late 1800s and early 1900s. Their aim was to restore Christianity to its earliest roots, under the credo “Where the Bible speaks, we speak, and where the Bible is silent, we’re silent.” Although each of the Christian Churches (or Churches of Christ, as they were sometimes called) was independent of any central denominational authority, they were associated with each other through educational institutions and informal networking between the congregations. In our region, Lincoln Christian College (now Lincoln Christian University) was the predominant center of the faith, along with a campground retreat called Little Galilee Christian Assembly, near Clinton, Illinois.

By the time I was in elementary school, I would spend a week each summer at Little Galilee, and once in high school, I would also volunteer at camp, spending as much time there as possible during the summer months. I remember the smell of fresh air, the warm sunshine, the jovial family atmosphere in the dining hall, the bracing refreshment of the pool, the quiet serenity of evening Vespers Service near the lake, pop and candy bars from the canteen, and the sweet possibility of holding a pretty girl’s hand on the long walk to campfire at the end of the day. I was also one of the kids who actually loved Bible study.

Most of all, though, I loved the fellowship, and in particular the fellowship of singing together. There were countless moments of pure joy, caught up in the feeling that we were all one, united in love and bliss.

I was a good little Christian boy, and took seriously what I had been taught – that it was our responsibility to help others find salvation from the fires of hell by accepting Jesus as their Lord, getting baptized, studying their Bible, and doing their best to understand it correctly and live their lives accordingly.

Sometimes we would ride a bus from camp into a nearby town with paperback copies of the New Testament to give away (in a new English translation called Good New for Modern Man). We would go to a shopping center or other public place, and try to strike up conversations with people, offering them the Good News, and inviting them to learn more. We called it “witnessing.”

I stuck to the script, and shared the Bible quotes saying that “all have sinned” and the “wages of sin are death” and that “God so love the world that he sent his only Son” to redeem us from those sins and save from the death we so rightly deserved. But in my heart what I truly wanted to share with people was that feeling of unity and love.

In the 1960s and early 1970s, in case you haven’t heard, a lot of people were turning away from traditional ideas, traditional mores and traditional styles. Clean cut kids trying to recruit people to church were just about as square as you could get. Then somehow, overnight, we weren’t quite so clean cut anymore.

The Jesus Movement, as it came to be called, started on the West Coast as Hippies and other young people began to turn to religion in hopes of finding what they had not found elsewhere. They (mostly) left the drugs behind, but brought with them a healthy portion of counterculture ethics and aesthetics, and suddenly “Jesus People” or “Jesus Freaks” seemed to be blazing their trails everywhere. I was quick to catch the spirit.

We had our own style, our own way of speaking, our own sense of priorities and (most important to me) our own music. One of the very first songs I learned to play on guitar was Two Hands as performed by Children of the Day. I wore a “One Way” pinback on my guitar strap and long bangs covering my eyes, as summertime sweat soaked a chambray work shirt and moistened the dust on a pair of rope sandals.

“They’ll Know We Are Christians By Our Love” was almost a protest song. Traditional churches had gotten it all wrong, and we were going to change that. As teenagers, we knew better than our parents, and certainly better than the stuffy ministers and elders, with their rules and their neckties and their Brylcreem hair. We were sure that we knew better, and we were also sure that we were better. In our superiority, we were free in our condemnation of their hypocrisy – and their general lack of hipness. Jesus was a long haired, sandal wearing iconoclast too, after all.

The Jesus Movement didn’t last long. Much like our older Hippie siblings most of us got caught up in the pursuits of material reality. We wrapped up our educations, started our jobs, created our families, and gradually took the exit ramps from much of our idealism.

Krishna PinIt is fifty years down the road now, and I realized last week that I never entirely found the exit. I don’t thump on the Bible anymore, and I’m unlikely to try to tell other people what they should do or how they should live. I don’t have any interest in railing against hypocrisy, setting towers alight or tilting at windmills. But that yearning to share the feeling of unity and joy and love? It’s for sure still there, whether I like it or not.

As I pin on a badge that says “Everyone is Chanting Krishna’s Name” and pick up a guitar, I’m that starry eyed kid all over again.

Filed Under: Essays Tagged With: 1970s, Christianity, Hippies, Jesus, Jesus Freaks, Jesus Movement, Jesus Music, Teenagers

The Lokah Peace Prayer

Brian K. Noe · December 14, 2023 ·

After completing the recording of the Cowboy Mahamantra I asked my wife, Claudia, what we should record next. Without any hesitation, she chose this ancient Sanskrit invocation of compassion and peace.

Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu

“May all beings everywhere be blessed. I devote myself to this goal.”

I set to work on the melody, and have been fiddling around with it for a few weeks now. This morning I did an impromptu Facebook livestream with what I have so far.

I’m still not very comfortable with the Spanish Guitar. 🙂

Look for a full recording of this one in the next couple of months.

In the meantime, here is my wish and blessing for you. May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you live in safety. May you be free.

Filed Under: Music, Video Tagged With: Homemade Music, Lokah Peace Prayer, Mantra, Mantras, Original Music, Peace, Recording Projects, Spanish Guitar

Be That One Accepting Person for Somebody

Brian K. Noe · December 11, 2023 ·

My youngest child sent me the link to this video, saying “I cried when watching this video, man.” I watched it and replied “Me too.”

There are a lot of things about how we humans experience and express gender and sexuality that I still do not understand. Here is what I do understand.

People have a right to live authentically, in accord with their own sense of the deepest truths of their being.

People have a capacity to choose love, kindness and acceptance for one another. This is something that I believe we ought to do.

Filed Under: Video Tagged With: LGBTQIA+, Love and Light, Trans Kids

Help to Gaza

Brian K. Noe · November 5, 2023 ·

My kid came up to me this morning expressing frustration with the conversations on social media concerning the current crisis in the Middle East. I think a lot of us are feeling that way.

I have little interest in politics. For me, the important thing at this point is that innocent children and their families are suffering, and there are simple things we can do, if we choose, to help them.

My own donation this morning went to Zakat Foundation. I would encourage you to help as well, by donating what you can to whatever charitable organization suits you.

Filed Under: Video Tagged With: Charity, Gaza, The Middle East, Zakat

New Recording: Cowboy Mahamantra

Brian K. Noe · November 1, 2023 ·

About three and a half years ago, my wife needed a backing track for mantra practice. Being a musician, with a little bit of experience in audio production from radio and podcasting days, I recorded a very basic track for her. One thing led to another, and eventually Kirtan Music became a huge part of my life.

At some point, this melody came to me, and I decided to do my best to make a listenable recording of it.

The project began in earnest in mid-July of this year when I recorded the first acoustic guitar track. I finally wrapped up the final mix yesterday, and published the YouTube video.

Here’s a link to the post at Shyamatara Das with more information on the recording.

Today I’m in the process of distribution elsewhere, with the goal of making the song as widely available as possible. I have no illusions of fame or fortune, but I want to ensure that anyone can listen on their preferred music platform.

Some of the music platforms will not allow songs to be offered without charge, but I wanted to make sure that the song is available for free to anyone who wants it. So it has been uploaded to the Internet Archive, and can be found at this link. https://archive.org/details/the-cowboy-mahamantra

It’s also available on BandCamp, with any proceeds from that being donated to the Neem Karoli Baba Ashram in Taos.

If you use Spotify, you can pre-save the track here.

It should also be available soon on Apple Music, Amazon Music, Pandora, iHeart Radio and elsewhere.

I’ll either update this post, or add new ones when links to the other services become available.

I hope you enjoy singing along!

ॐ†


UPDATE: 2 November 2023

The song is now available on most of the major streaming services.

https://noebie.com/the-cowboy-mahamantra/

Filed Under: Music Tagged With: Audio, Bhakti, Chants, Devotions, Hare Krishna, Kirtan, Mahamantra, Mantra, Mantras, Original Music, YouTube

A Visit to New Vrindaban

Brian K. Noe · October 29, 2023 ·

Claudia and Brian at New Vrindaban

In September my wife and I traveled to Western Pennsylvania for an annual retreat with my meditation teacher. Having read about the splendors of Prabhupada’s Palace of Gold nearby, we decided to take a quick detour on our way back home to have a peek.

The building is touted as one of the “40 most beautiful places to visit in the United States” on par with the Biltmore Estate and New York City’s Central Park. Google’s map showed that it was less than thirty miles out of our way, so we took the exit from I-70 near Wheeling, and followed the tortuous winding road to the New Vrindaban complex at Moundsville, West Virginia.

As we walked up the path from the visitor parking lot, we heard music, and Claudia said “Maybe it’s a festival and we’ll be able to have lunch.” I remembered only then that it was Radhashtami, the commemoration of Radha’s appearance on this earth, and a day of celebration for devotees of Krishna such as those at New Vrindaban.

We wandered around a bit, enjoying the views, finally making our way to the entrance of the Palace of Gold where tours begin. A monk – with the classic shaved head, pony tail and orange robes – eventually appeared, asking if we had received prasadam (food that is served at such celebrations). He told us that he was the one who conducted the tours, and that we would have plenty of time to eat before the next one began.

We passed a beautiful lotus pond on our walk down the hill to the picnic area. As we arrived, we were greeted by a devotee named Nityo, who asked “Do we know you?” This seemed like an odd turn of phrase. I responded “I don’t think so,” then related that we were traveling, and had heard of the Palace, and dropped in to tour it.

“So you just happened to be passing through? And you just happened to drop by? And it just happened to be on Radhashtami?” I was beginning to feel a little uncomfortable with the questions, and fumbled for a response. Then he said “And you just happened down the hill when the line for prasadam is empty. Have some food!”

Nityo followed along as we picked up plates and the devotees filled them with amazing vegetarian fare. When Claudia mentioned that she hadn’t smelled such lovely aromas since her trip to India, Nityo asked why she had travelled there. “Do you work for the government?” She explained that her company outsources some work in Chennai.

Our new friend sat with us at table, and the conversation was casual and friendly. At some point, a woman came up and greeted Claudia, called her by another name, and then apologized, saying that she had mistaken her for another devotee who used to live there. There were some other odd exchanges between this woman and Nityo which we took to be none of our business.

As we ate, another devotee brought a fresh garland of jasmine and placed it around Claudia’s shoulders, and handed me a white rose that had been on their altar that morning. We felt like special guests, and marveled at our luck to have arrived on such an auspicious day, and to be treated so well.

We enjoyed the tour of the Palace, and headed on down the road toward home, buoyed by the fragrance of the jasmine, and feeling fortunate at having stumbled into such a delightful experience.

When we arrived home two days later, I did a Google search for our new friend to try to find his email address and send him thanks for the meal and his kindness. What turned up in the search results made the entire episode seem eerie and surreal. It turns out that in the 1980s New Vrindaban had been at the center of a murderous sex scandal.

After the initial shock, as we reflected on our visit, we wondered if our reception there was somehow unusual – if our appearance or manner or the timing of our arrival had created suspicions among the devotees. We speculated that perhaps we fit the profile of snoops of some variety (law enforcement, journalists, disgruntled muck raking former devotees, or what not) and that they welcomed us so warmly in order to keep a close eye on us. Some of the conversation and behavior that we recalled seemed a bit sinister in this context. On the other hand, the gestures of hospitality seemed free and genuine, and while we were actually on the site, we felt no misgivings or signs of anything untoward. In fact, we agreed that we would still be interested in visiting again, even after reading these reports. Despite the jarring revelations, we felt fondness in our hearts for the place and for the people we met there.

We were surprised to learn, last week, of a documentary expose that has just premiered on Peacock, covering the establishment of the settlement, the troubled years during leader Keith Ham’s descent into madness, and the aftermath.

We viewed the series this week. Despite the sensationalistic trailer, and the film’s focus on horrific murders, physical abuse of women devotees, physical and sexual abuse of children in the community’s school system, and other crimes committed under Ham’s leadership, if one cares to be thoughtful the documentary also presents a picture of beauty and devotion which endures among many who still live and worship at New Vrindaban.

If you are interested in watching the film, I would encourage that you do so with an open mind and heart. It is awfully easy to default to judgment and condemnation, especially in these days of cancel culture. I believe that the devotees at New Vrindaban and others associated with the International Society for Krishna Consciousness deserve better.

I would also encourage you to read the ISKCON Communications Ministry’s official response to the film. It comes pretty close to expressing my own sense of things.

Here is an excerpt from another statement released just prior to the debut of the film, which also seems on track. “What we know for certain is that ISKCON is founded on, and aspires for, the highest principles of Vaishnava ethics and values. We also know that we are a society, like every society and religious community, made of human beings with flaws and the human tendency to be covered by material consciousness.”

For me, the most poignant moments of the film were when the sons of one of the murder victims, Charles St. Denis, performed the Vedic rites for their departed father in India, on the Yamuna River at Vrindavan. Also, their testimonies throughout the film, along with those of Detective Thomas Westfall, were some of the most compelling and heart wrenching.

Toward the end of the film, Sergeant Westfall said that he was happy that the community at New Vrindaban was able to recover and heal from their collective trauma. I believe he referred to them as people of hope.

Hope, devotion, kindness and hospitality toward strangers. One could hardly ask for more.

Filed Under: Notes From The Field Tagged With: Hare Krishnas, ISKCON, Movies, Travel, TV, West Virginia

The Global Consciousness Project

Brian K. Noe · August 31, 2023 ·

RNG UnitWe recently set up a random number generator node in our home as part of an experiment called the Global Consciousness Project 2.0.

The RNG “egg” generates numbers randomly, and sends the data to a repository where it is logged and correlated with that from other nodes all over the planet.

Much of the time, the data is what you might expect – random. On some occasions though, the units seem to sync up and show “coherence.” This seems to happen when there’s something stirring the consciousness of large numbers of people, during crises, times of joy and celebration, times of empathy, times of fear or other strong emotion.

The node just sits there and blinks, but I like to think that when I meditate, it notices.

Filed Under: Notes From The Field Tagged With: Consciousness, Global Consciousness Project, HeartMath, RNG, Science

Pilgrims On The Road

Brian K. Noe · August 3, 2023 ·

Several years ago, I first heard about the Camino de Santiago pilgrimage. The idea of backpacking 500 miles across Spain to arrive at the burial site of an Apostle caught my imagination, but it was not something that I thought would really be possible for me to undertake. I filed it away as another pleasant thing to dream about.

A few weeks ago, we ran across Stefanie Hurtado’s marvelous documentary of her trek on the Way of St. James. It inspired me to reconsider, and it looks like it may be feasible after all. Claudia and I are still in very early discussions about the possibility, but are thinking we may attempt at least the portion of the pilgrimage from Sarria to Santiago de Compostela some time in 2025.

I’ll be posting more here as we continue to plan. In the meantime, the video above is highly recommended.

Here’s a link to the English version of the official website for the pilgrimage.

https://www.caminodesantiago.gal/en/inicio

Filed Under: Video Tagged With: Camino de Santiago, Catholic, Hiking, Spain, Travel, Walking, Way of St. James, YouTube

Louis Theroux in India

Brian K. Noe · July 25, 2023 ·

A friend in our work chat this morning shared this video after a short exchange about Hindu and Buddhist practices. It’s from the BBC program Weird Weekends with Louis Theroux.

Theroux is, I think, a sincere and light hearted skeptic. The video presents a mostly amusing look at some Westerners who have gone to India seeking enlightenment, their practices, and the Gurus that they follow, from OSHO to Prabhupada.

Toward the very end of the program, we witness Theroux’s encounter with Amma, and it is a moment of beauty and truth.

Filed Under: Curated Links, Video Tagged With: BBC Television, Documentaries, Gurus, Hindu, India, Skepticism, The Eternal Way

What I’m Reading: Born to Run

Brian K. Noe · July 3, 2023 ·

Born To Run Book CoverThe old aphorism “when the student is ready the teacher will appear” is perfectly apt in describing how I ran across this book.

As mentioned in an earlier post, I found Earth Runners sandals while looking for footwear that was consistent with the practice of Ahimsa (non-violence or non-hurting). The fact that people ran in these sandals, and their connection to the Raramuri (Tarahumara) running people, was interesting, but entirely beside the point for me at the time.

In a rambling conversation with my niece (which was also mentioned in the earlier post about grounding) she brought up Christopher McDougall’s book Born To Run. A few days later we were at our favorite local used bookstore, and of course they happened to have a copy.

The book begins like a mystery thriller, and remains a page-turner from start to finish. The story is beautiful and compelling. The personalities portrayed are fascinating. The book is a pleasure to read.

Beyond that, it turns out to be a book that changes people’s lives, and it has changed mine.

When I was young, I took up running. This was during the jogging boom of the 1970s. I had not been an athletic child. I was routinely among the last ones picked during P.E. class for any team sport. I was clumsy, slow, etc. Running gave me a way to be active and sporting without having to compete with anyone but myself. At first I think the attraction was about trying to find a niche. Some people played basketball. Some golfed. Some played tennis. “Yeah. I’m a runner.”

As time went on, I found that I loved the act of running even more so than the idea of it. When I ran, I felt strong and vital and free.

I also felt sore, and exhausted and miserable a lot of the time. Twisted ankles, lower back issues, sore knees and the like dogged me. I learned from chats with other runners and from running books and magazines that this was normal. The human body is just not made for this sort of activity, they said. The cardiovascular workouts are good for your heart health, in moderation, but unless you are one of the lucky ones who are genetically predisposed, be prepared to suffer, both during runs and between them. Better to stick to “low impact” activities.

At some point, the pleasure didn’t seem worth the pain, so I got out of the habit of running. Once in awhile I would try to take it up again, but as I got older I became convinced that it was something that I just couldn’t do anymore.

Part of the beauty of McDougall’s story is that he found himself in a similar situation. Podiatrists (and nearly everyone else he consulted) told him that the human body – especially his body, which he describes a being Shrek like in those days – is not suited to running. Then he finds this tribe of folks who run incredible distances well into old age, injury free, wearing home made sandals that are little more than rubber tire treads strapped to the soles of their feet with thong. He gets swept up in the efforts of Micah True (one of the central characters of the book) to hold an ultra marathon in Mexico’s Cooper Canyons, and in the process uncovers a secret. Our species’ bodies are not only well suited to the activity of running, but actually evolved specifically to run long distances. We are, all of us, truly born to run.

On June 3rd of 2023 I pulled on my Earth Runners and ran down the street a few blocks just to see how it felt. It felt good. That was the beginning of a very cool journey of discovery. What I’m learning is that running does not have to be a test of will, every day a struggle to push through inevitable pain and suffering. It can be an opportunity to discover the limits of pleasure rather than the limits of endurance. I started with very short runs, and then added a block or two at a time as long as it continued to feel good. Three or four miles a day is my usual distance at the moment. Recovery time is minimal. No lingering soreness. No exhaustion. No ill effects.

There are some things that I’m paying attention to that have helped, of course. I’m working on keeping a short stride with my feet landing directly under my hips as much as possible. The single most important factor though, for me at least, seems to be that running in thin-soled, flat footwear prohibits long strides and heavy heel strikes. It just hurts too much to run that way, so we learn to stop doing it. So running in this sort of footwear (or barefoot) virtually forces you into better form. It’s not that our bodies aren’t made for running. It’s that they aren’t made for running in heavily cushioned footwear with hefty drops, “stability control,” arch support and such. Let your feet move the way they should, and they will provide all the support that you need.

Through this book, I have joined thousands of others around the world who have found the joy of returning to our deep ancestral heritage. We have learned that like the Raramuri, we are all the Running People.

Filed Under: What I'm Reading Tagged With: Aging, Bookish, Books, Born To Run, Earth Runners, Fitness, Running

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