he said
“i’m not litigious”
and kept a straight face
and so i felt a little bad
choking back a chortle
“when people are injured
they deserve compensation”
simple as that
fairness
justice
and a one-third contingency
Here’s What Happened
frankly
it’s none of your god-damned business
and it was a long time ago
but if you must know
i could no longer endure
the sight of her
nor the sound of one more lazy
ignorant
word
i cried for help
and she slept right through it
when it was time to wake up
Chanting the Names
I began chanting the Sadaksara occasionally from the time I first obtained a Tibetan mala many years ago. Over the past year, as I took up the daily practice of meditation, I have alternated between it and the Adi Mantra (which we learned from Chand Shiva Singh, our Kundalini Teacher).
As my wife, Claudia, began her daily practice, she first used the Kirtan Kriya and then the Siri Gaitri Mantra.
Although all of these mantras have deep spiritual significance, none of them invoke (or make reference to) particular deities.
Over the past few weeks, though, I have been learning about the rich devotional tradition of bhakti. Much of that practice centers on repeating the names of various Hindu gods and goddesses.
Raised, as I was, in an Evangelical Protestant Christian home, I was taught that this sort of activity is akin to devil worship. Even the reverence of Christian Saints practiced by Roman Catholics was considered to be idolatry in our church. When I became Catholic, it took considerable study and soul searching for me to overcome this knee-jerk aversion stemmed in my upbringing.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church says that an idolater is someone who “transfers his indestructible notion of God to anything other than God.” Most Catholics, I suspect, would take this to be a prohibition against reverence to any god with a name coming from a tradition other than that of Judaism and Christianity.
Here is what I have come to believe. Our notions about God, and our faith traditions, are limited by our human capacities. Although we Catholics believe that scripture is inspired, we must also accept that the human beings who wrote the scriptures experienced the same limits of language and culture that we ourselves face. We are all trying to understand and describe something that is far beyond our ability to comprehend and convey. We can have an experience of the divine, but we can only approximate that experience when we try to conceptualize or describe it.
All of the world’s major religions have something to add to our understanding of why we are all here, and how we ought to pursue our lives. For me, Christianity in general, and Roman Catholic Christianity in particular, do better on the whole in the tasks of informing my conscience and nourishing my spirit – but I did not become Catholic because I believe that our teachings reveal the “one and only truth.” I do believe that there is truth to be found in the teachings of the Catholic Church, and in the way that we worship and work together. But this does not mean that we cannot also be nourished by the practices, and guided by the wisdom, of other religious traditions.
One of the great lights of kirtan in our age, Krishna Das, says that the practice of bhakti is singing to the loving presence that is always present within us and around us. “This loving presence may be called by all these names.”
In recent days, I have found great nourishment and comfort in singing the names of Rama, Sita, Hanuman, Krishna, Radha, Durga, Shiva – the list goes on and on. These names, for me, represent aspects of God, not beings who are distinct from God. I believe that learning their stories and chanting their names is another way of bringing more light into my life, and more love into my heart. I suppose that greater compassion will be the ultimate test of whether or not this is true.
All One.
Diving in to Bhakti
About seven weeks ago, my wife and a couple of her yoga friends did a Facebook livestream from the Align Light studio where they shared the Siri Gaitri mantra. It was a beautiful meditation.
Unfortunately, after the live session, Facebook removed the sound, because they had used recorded music and the platform’s AI recognized it as copyrighted.
The idea struck me immediately that we could remediate the problem by recording the music ourselves. So I grabbed my handy recorder and guitar, played some arpeggios, then decided to add some keyboard sweetening. After a few hours I had the basic track together. We refined it over the next few days, adding some reference vocals and such. Done. It wasn’t what I would consider to be “listening” quality, but it was fine for the background to chanting.
It hadn’t occurred to me that this would be anything other than a fun, one-off project. But then my wife said “we should record Long Time Sun too.” So I got out the recorder and guitar again, and this time decided to add a bass guitar track in addition to guitar and keys. I had learned some things from the process for the first recording, and was noticing things during this second one that could be improved as well. Before I knew it, I found myself saying “the next one of these we do, I’ll want to start with a click track.”
By now I was absolutely hooked, and began searching all over the Web for anything I could learn about Kirtan music and devotional chanting. At this point I was still thinking of the music as a pleasant and interesting hobby or diversion. Then, something odd happened.
Although I already had a vague notion that the chanting had a spiritual basis and spiritual benefits (we chanted at the end of Kundalini Yoga sessions and our instructor always spoke about the deeper meaning of the chants), I hadn’t realized that it is at the very center of some folks’ devotional life. The practice already had a pretty firm grip on me, and now it pulled me in. It suddenly felt as if every thing that I have experienced throughout my life, from the time I was a small child, was leading to this moment of discovery.
Claudia and I continue to chant together every evening, and now I’ve added an afternoon session to my daily practice as well. I’ve also begun to read the Tulsidas Ramayana, and to consider how singing the names of Hindu deities each day relates to my life as a faithful Roman Catholic Christian. I’ll be writing more about that in the days to come.
In the meantime, we’ve ordered a harmonium. 🙂
Chanting for Global Healing
Claudia and I have been chanting the Siri Gaitri together each day for several weeks now. Today we took to Facebook Live to share the mantra.
Cards of Light
New Website Project
On February 16th of 2019, I began drawing a Tarot card each day for personal and spiritual development. One year later, I launched a new Tarot-centric website Cards of Light | Bright Blessings of the Tarot.
It’s still early on, but I’ll be publishing lots of essays, resources, links and more there. If you’re curious about the Cards, head on over and take a look.
In The Rainsong
When the dawn breaks
And the day begins
With your first breath
You will know me
I am rain song
I am turning twig
I am blood and stone
I am journey’s rest
In the rainsong
In the stillness
In the stillness
In the stillness
In the stillness
You will know me
With each new breath
In the stillness
I am star dust
I am circles
I am humming
All around you
I am hiding
In a moonbeam
In the stillness
I will find you
I am lambs’ tears
I am barleycorn
I am mother’s milk
I am broken
I am hopes and fears
I am things to come
I am in the cards
They do not see me
Will you see me?
In the stone and fire
In the tears and mud
In the daybreak
In the rain song
In the lamb’s tear
In your last breath
In the morning
In the stillness
In the stillness
In the stillness…
How to Get Started With Meditation
On April 4th of 2019 I began a daily meditation practice. Since that time I’ve seen some incredible improvements in pretty much all aspects of my life. My practice of meditation wasn’t purposeful nor intentional at first. I stumbled on to it. I had no real expectations and no serious commitment. But once I began seeing the positive effects, it became a part of my life that I’d never want to do without.
I had tried to meditate when I was younger. I began the practice with high expectations and lofty spiritual goals. I read books. I obsessed over how to sit, how to position my hands, how to breathe. I judged myself over the smallest details of what I did during sessions, what I thought, and what results I was (or, more precisely, was not) achieving. I soon gave up in frustration.
This time around, I went into the experience unencumbered of expectations. I was able to practice without judgment, and I soon learned a powerful truth. When it comes to meditation, the only way you can “do it wrong” is to not do it at all. If you practice every day, and make it part of your routine, you will see surprising benefits, and likely in pretty short order.
Meditation for Wellness
Although meditation is certainly a spiritual practice, it can be helpful to think of it first as a wellness practice. There’s lots of good research on the effects of an ongoing meditation routine. Here are just a few of the benefits (some physical, some emotional, some social) that have been documented.
- reduces cortisol – the stress hormone
- reduces cytokines – inflammatory chemicals
- increases oxytocin – the love hormone
- better sleep
- less anxiety
- reduced inflammation and pain
- lower blood pressure
- balances autonomic nervous system – sympathetic and parasympathetic
- gets you out of fight or flight response so your body can rest and heal
- stimulates the pituitary gland
- more electrical activity in the areas of your brain related to positive thinking and optimism
- increased intuition, insight and self-awareness
- improved self-esteem
- more creativity
- better focus and attention span
- better memory
- increased compassion for others
- compulsions, bad habits and addictions tend to go away
How I Started
I didn’t know any of the above information at the time I started a routine of daily meditation. I began almost by accident. I was reading a book called Wheels of Light. It describes the seven bodily energy centers identified in ancient wisdom as the chakras. In one particular passage it described a set of symptoms that are typical of blocked energy at the second (sacral) chakra. High blood pressure, inflammatory issues, painful joints, heartburn, etc. It might as well have been describing my daily life. So I got the idea in my head that if I could get the energy flowing through that blockage, maybe I would feel better. At the same time, this seemed a little weird and New Agey and pseudoscientific for my tastes. Also, even if there was some validity to the material, I had no idea how to approach the issue. So I hesitated.
In another of those odd coincidences that seem to happen in situations like this, I ran across an audio program from BrainSync with a guided meditation that was supposed to help “open the flow of energy to your chakras.” I figured that for ten bucks, it was worth the risk to see if it did me any good – and it would certainly be easy enough to sit and listen to an MP3.
So I downloaded the file, and after work one day I got into a comfy chair and put in my earbuds. Here are the notes I made later on.
“I felt incredibly light afterwards. My eyes seemed softer, somehow, and it seemed like my brain was moving in slow motion. It wasn’t that I was confused or dull, more that I was very relaxed and taking time to just experience what was going on.”
What was happening here, was that I was getting to something called the “relaxation response” and my brain waves were slowing down. This is something that happens during meditation practice. I still had no clue what was going on at the time. It just felt really good so I kept doing it.
Before long, my blood pressure was down, I began losing weight, I began feeling less anxious and angry, depression subsided, I was sleeping better, I had less joint and back pain, everything started looking up. I added other audio programs to my practice for variety. I learned some Tibetan and Indian mantras, and began sitting and chanting for ten or fifteen minutes during a morning break from my workday. Before long I was hooked, and multiple short daily meditation sessions of one sort or another were a habit.
Some Suggestions on How You Can Start
The reason I wanted to share my own story above is that it’s a pretty clear demonstration that meditation practice is an easy thing to start, and that even someone with little knowledge or instruction can benefit. Here’s what I would suggest to someone who is interested in giving it a try.
Set aside time every day to practice. Ten or fifteen minutes is plenty for starters. You can eventually work up to twenty or thirty minutes a day, and you may find yourself enjoying it so much that you look for opportunities to work in some additional sessions each day. But if the time commitment bothers you, just keep it to ten minutes at first.
The idea is to get your body relaxed, and your brainwaves slowed down. That’s all. You don’t have to empty your mind of thoughts, or cultivate mindfulness, or seek some great mystical breakthrough or anything else. Some of those things may eventually come to you, but for now it’s just relax, breathe, slow down.
Our brainwaves, when we are awake and active, are most often in what is known as the beta range (12 to 38 Hz). During meditation, we can slow those down to 8-12 Hz (alpha) or even lower (theta). Time spent even in the alpha range each day offers significant benefits, and the benefits can become really profound when we can get down into the theta range and stay there for awhile each day.
Using traditional methods, it can take years to develop a meditation practice that routinely and reliably brings a person to these brainwave states. Fortunately, there is technology available to us now that can help us achieve them much earlier in our practice. It’s something called “entrainment.” It uses audio signals to create the proper wavelength in sound, and the listening brain follows suit.
There are a couple of different approaches to these audio programs. One approach simply incorporates tones of the proper wavelength into the sound signal. The other one does something a little more complicated, but exceptionally interesting. It uses one tone in one ear, and one tone in the other and your brain splits the difference, creating the perception of a third tone that doesn’t actually exist in the audible recorded signal. For instance, if there’s a 200 Hz tone in your left ear, and a 207 Hz tone in your right, you perceive a pulsing 7 Hz tone. This has the effect of drawing your brainwaves into the neighborhood of 7 Hz (theta range). Pretty cool, yeah?
This “binaural beats” technology is what’s used by BrainSync in their recordings. They have a wide range of products available, and meditations for almost any concern or purpose. Some are simply music or nature sounds and the binaural beats. Some include subliminal messages. Some are guided meditations.
To begin, I would recommend either Grace and Gratitude or Exalted, but take a look around their website and see what appeals to you. You can listen to examples for free on their BrainSync YouTube.
Begin by sitting comfortably in a spot where you won’t be disturbed. Shut your eyes. You can just put on the headphones and listen to the audio, or you may want to go through a short relaxation routine. I usually start with some square breathing as the audio begins. Then I draw my attention to areas of my head, one-by-one, scan for tension and tell the area to relax – scalp, ears, forehead, eyes, cheeks, jaw, etc. Just a few seconds of attention to each area will do. If you want to continue to scan your body for tension and relax each area, you may. I usually find that I’m pretty relaxed by the time I’m done with my head, neck and shoulders.
Then just breathe, and if your mind begins to wander off in thoughts (about work, or what you’re going to do after you meditate, or what you’re going to fix for supper, or whatever) just gently focus on your breath by following it in and out. If you’d like, you can visualize that you’re in a peaceful natural surrounding, or even visualize the breath as a soft beautiful light that’s entering your body through your heart and nurturing you each time you inhale. The main thing is to just relax and try not to latch on to linear thoughts.
Some people like to chant, either with or without prayer beads, but that’s absolutely not necessary. A simple mantra can help give your brain something to do so it can’t get caught up in thinking. But again, this is a personal choice.
The main thing is just to sit quietly and comfortably and breathe, and listen to the audio. If your mind does wander, it’s okay. That still happens to me, and it happens to even experienced meditators from time to time. Try not to latch on to thoughts when you notice them, but don’t fight yourself and don’t judge yourself. This is a PRACTICE, so it takes practice. 🙂
Even if you fall asleep, don’t judge. If you do, you probably needed the nap worse than you needed to meditate.
Be kind and gentle with yourself. Just make sure that you set aside time to meditate every day, and you’ll be on your way to better health and well being soon. There’s no way to fail, no way to do it wrong, and no way to miss the benefits, so long as you get in the habit of meditating every day.
But I Don’t Have Time!
A final note here that may be helpful. Some of us who would benefit most from meditation – who really NEED meditation – don’t do it because we’re already so stressed trying to keep up with everything in our lives that we just don’t think we can spare the time. The thought of committing to even ten minutes a day actually increases our stress.
When I began my practice it was an incredibly busy and stressful time at work. I was working long hours and barely keeping up. Oddly, on the days when I took time to meditate during a morning break I got more done and felt less stressed at the end of the day. Things just seemed to work out better on those days. When I skipped a day, it was always nightmarish.
I don’t have any actual data on this other than my own experience, but my conviction is that you’ll make up any time you dedicate to meditation with better focus and less wasted time due to stress.
I hope that this information is helpful to you, and I look forward to hearing how it goes!
Thursday’s Child Talks Tarot
I took to Facebook in a live session talking about how the Tarot has changed my life, and some tips on how to get started.
Getting Started with the Tarot
In February of 2019, on a whim and for no particular reason other than curiosity, I began a habit of drawing a single Tarot card each day, looking at it, reading about it, thinking about how the depiction might apply to my life, and writing down a few notes. To my surprise, this practice has changed my life profoundly, and for the better.
For those who may be interested in trying out a similar practice, here are some recommendations on how to begin.
Get your hands on a Rider Tarot deck. There are hundreds, probably thousands, of varieties of decks out there, and many worthy of consideration for a first deck. I recommend starting with the Rider for several reasons. First of all, the depictions on the cards are evocative. They make it easy to conjure up thoughts or impressions or emotions in response to the cards, and that’s helpful because of the way that we’ll be using them. Since the depictions are distinctive, they may also help you more easily remember the associated meanings that you arrive at for each card.
There are also a lot of resources available that are geared to interpreting the Rider-Waite-Smith card images, as compared to other decks that are available. Also, it’s readily available and you can probably pick up a garden variety Rider deck pretty cheap (maybe around $15, or even less if you shop around). It’s just overall a great starter deck for the novice. You’ll probably want to eventually broaden your horizons and at least look at some other decks, and virtually any deck would be okay for starters, but it’s hard to beat the Rider if you don’t have another particular preference.
Visit Joan Bunning’s website, or buy her book. Learning the Tarot is a marvelous course for the Tarot beginner. It’s easy to read and will take you through the history and tradition of the cards, help you learn the standard accepted meanings (and also how to approach creating your own interpretations), and take you all the way to the basics of creating card spreads and reading for others, if you are so inclined.
The entire course is available online, free of charge, so if you can’t spring for the book, you can get the very same information on the website. I would recommend reading and digesting the first five chapters of the course, and then beginning the daily reading practice described in chapter five.
Of course, there are many, many, other great books and websites on the subject. For me, though, Bunning’s material is perfect for the beginner and will get you off to a great start in understanding and using the Tarot.
Develop your own routine. I hesitate to use the term “ritual” here, because it may have some connotations that put some folks off, but it’s a good idea to create a set routine for yourself around your daily readings that help to reinforce it as a habit, and help you get the most out of the practice. In the beginning, I made a big production of my daily readings, lighting incense, taking time to get into the right frame of mind, shuffling the deck in a certain habitual way, etc. I’m a little less elaborate about it now, but there are a few things that I’ve found to be especially helpful.
First, try to do your daily reading in the same place, at about the same time every day. Whatever sorts of “prelude” activities you’d like to include, use them every day for awhile. This helps to condition your mind to the idea that this is a special time, apart from the rest of your daily activities and obligations. It will help you develop and cultivate mental associations that will bring a spirit of attention and openness to the practice each time you sit down with your deck.
Some people like to ask a question before they cut and draw. For me, it has been most helpful to simply set an intention, such as “what do you have for me today?” I’m not addressing the cards with this intention. I’m addressing my own mind and spirit. “What do you have for me? What do I need to know today? What should I learn right now?”
Really look at the card. Part of the power of the Tarot is its ability to draw forth feelings, ideas and thoughts that might not surface for you otherwise. So it’s great to learn the traditional meanings of the cards, but it’s so much more important to get in touch with your own impressions and intuition. Look at the details of the card. Does the expression or action of any of the characters depicted strike a chord with you? Do you like the card or dislike it? Does it make you feel warm and happy, or contented, or uncomfortable, or confused, or joyful, or irritated, or frightened? Who does the card depict in your life? If you were in the card, what would you be doing or how would you feel? Does the card remind you of anything?
I like to spend a little time scanning my own mind and heart while looking at the card before I take a look at the description from the “little white book” that comes with the deck (or from Joan Bunning’s website or another Tarot site or book). Often, I’ll turn up a card and think “I know exactly what this means for me.” Other times I’ll think “I can’t relate to this at all. It has nothing to do with my life or how I’m feeling today.” Either way, I spend a few minutes mulling it over, and then jot down my impressions.
Keep a journal. This part is so important, because over time you’ll begin to develop your own unique personal catalogue of various card meanings, and also you may begin to see patterns that have meaning in your life or that are somehow useful to you. My practice is to create an Evernote for each season of the year, with room for an entry each day that includes the day of the week and date, the card title, my notes and a picture of the card that I take with my iPad. I also post the card each day to Instagram, and upload it to a “Daily Tarot” album on Flickr, so I can look at the series of cards chronologically from time to time and see if any patterns jump out at me, and think about what they suggest.
Sometimes my notes are nothing more than a few keywords. Other times they may include a detailed description of the card, or maybe a longer narrative about a memory, or what’s going on in my life at the moment and how the card relates to it. The main thing is to be consistent in journaling every day, even if it’s only a few words. The other important thing is to write down whatever it is you’re thinking and feeling, even if it’s sometimes uncomfortable to do. The journal is for you, and not something you ever have to share with someone else. The real growth often occurs when we’re feeling most uncomfortable or vulnerable, so it’s helpful to face those sorts of things as directly as we can.
Connect with others. Whether you’re using the Tarot as a tool for personal growth, as a hobbyist or collector, as part of a spiritual practice or just a fun pastime, it’s cool to connect with other people who share the interest. There are lots of communities and websites online where you can find others who are interested in the Tarot. I particularly enjoy the community that has gathered around The Hermit’s Cave, Simon Harrison’s popular Tarot-centric YouTube channel. Google and find the sites, social media and groups that appeal most to you.
Enjoy yourself. You may find, as I did, that the Tarot is a powerful tool for personal development. Or for you it may turn out to be a simple pleasant activity, without a lot of gravity – an interesting diversion. For me, it began as the latter and soon took on a life of its own. There’s really no “right” approach, and nothing to fear from “doing it wrong.” So relax and enjoy and just take in the experience.
And whatever your experience turns out to be, I wish you the best, and I’d love to hear about it. Feel free to comment here with your own stories, resources, questions and ideas.
Here’s to the journey!
This post also appears on Brian’s Tarot website, Cards of Light.